Cat Flaps (by Cana, Trust in Dog).

Came bakk from walkees n somwun had put hole in dor! Mum sed is 'Cat Flap'. Poppy wos owtside n then, like magik, wos inside!!! Is BESTEST fing.

Now I wait by the Cat Flap for Raoul n Poppy to cum in...... n BOWNCE on thems. Is BESTEST game! Cat Flap = Cat Flat!!

Poppy liked bein bownceded on bit too much tho n biffed me ON THE DOSE! Snot fair, grrrr.

Maybe just bownce on Raoul insted now?  WUFF!

Larst week wos FanksGimme.

FanksGimme is wot Amerryican doggs do wen they fank ther hoomans for all the biskits scoffeded in pasted year.

We don't hav FanksGimme in Englund, but here I am bein an Amerrycan Booty, cos Mum seys I am most bootifullust dogg in HOLE WURLD!

WUFF!

'Fiurce Wabbits' by Cana-Trust in Dog

Went rownd Bonkers Bella's howse yesturday wiv my frend LucyAnn. We hexplored the gardun n fownd a fiurce beest called 'wabbit'. LucyAnn went n warneded it not to mess wiv us cos we are brave and fearluss Suvvern Innits, but I had mostest dangerowse job cos I protectud him from behind.

I wos 'LUK-OWT DOGG'. Cud hav been ovver fiurce creetures waitin to POWNCE!

(LucyAnn wos a wuss cos he wos well scarded wen wabbit jumped!) Not like mee. Grrr

'BBC Childrun-on-Leeds'

Watched BBC Childrun-on-Leeds last nite, wiv Podgy Beer.

Is very sadd cos hoomans wot don't have doggs hav childruns insted, as dogg substitoots.

Sumtimes they dont luk aftur the childruns propurly n let them run arownd wivowt leeds on, wot is very dangerowse!

BBC wants doggs to send in ther hoomans' leeds, for the poor ickle depraved childruns. Poor childruns! (Fink will send in my Evil Leedur for them.)

WUFF!

Prince WillyYum is Gettin Marreed! (By Cana, Trust in Dog)

'R' is for ROYALL.

Wos watchin Channel Paw Poos n sed Prince WillyYum is gettin marreed. Marreed is wot hoomans do so they can bownce on eech ovver.

Royall doggs are called Corgees n they lukk aftur hoomans wot fink they are Royall too!! Hoomans are well stoopid sumtimes.

Wot abowt Muck-in-Ham Palace n SandinHam? Hoomans cud never hav dugged them, only doggys. Maybee not corgees tho. They hav stumpee legs n ickle paws.

WUFF!

Steelin Fings is Norty

This is mee wiv my frend Ok-Yahto. He is tryin to steel my rope off mee, Grrr.

He thort he wos goin to hav it, but I showded him I am pakk leedur n no-wun steels fings off me!!!

Steelin is very norty n gets yoo a gud tellin off. Is BAD karma to steel cos yoo get no biskit. Biskit only happuns wen yoo do gudd fings, (GUDD karma) like mee!  I NEVER steel fings, just borrow thems, wot is ok cos wen I giv thems bakk, are dedded anyway.

WUFF!

Royal Susioty for the Protekshun of Croolty to Hoomans

Mum n Dad n Arnty Clur n mee went to Lundun.

We went on the Hescalatur. Hescalaturs r very dangerowse for hoomans n they can get their paws stukk. Cos I am  brave n feerluss Suvvern Innit (n alway a GUDD DOGG) I helped Dad.

Ther wer lots of poor abanduned hoomans wivowt doggs to lukk aftur them tho, wot wos a Bad Fing!

Am worreed abowt poor abanduned hoomans now!!!! Will write to Qween Corgi n tell hur to start RSPCH for poor hoomans.

WUFF!

Mudd Explorashun

This is mee wiv my noo frends Yogi n Scooby. They r town doggies n not used to wallowin in mudd, (wot is my favorit fing!). Poor Yogi n Scooby - NO MUDD?!

Cos I am pack leedur n speshlee gudd at mudd hexploring, I showeded them wot to do. Here I am demon-stratin 'digg n splash' technik. Aftur that I showded them 'stomp', 'snorkle', 'roll ovur', 'wiggle' n my favorit - 'belly-smakk'.

Wos BESTEST FING!

Wher's my cake??

Dad n mee went n had cuffee in the furest. Wher's my cake???

Striktly Cum Bowncing!

Stiktly Cum Bowncin is BESTEST show.

Is like dogg show, but wiv hoomans wot do bowncin wiv moosik. I am bestest dogg at bowncin n win everyfing, but bestest hoomans r Ann Widd-e-Bone n Anton Du Bark. They bownce like mee !

Is himportunt to a do lots of bowncin to get reely gudd. Is very seriowse fing....

Dorbell - BOWNCE, vizitur - BOWNCE, NooFing - BOWNCE, DeddFing - BOWNCE, walkie - BOWNCE, BOWNCE, Yahto cums home - BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWNCE, BOING, BOING, BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWNCE, BOING, BOWNCE.

Mum seys, am bestest bowncer in HOLE WURLD!  WUFF!

Fireworkees

Tuk Mum n Dad to see firewurkees. Wos a bit scareded at furst, so kept them undur strikt control. (Did not likk them so as not to reinfors prolum behavyer)

Aftur a wile they settled down like gudd hoomans.

Well done Mum n Dad!

Biskit?

OopsyDown Day

Yesturday wos OopsyDown Day.

Had sikky stuff comin owt of bottum, n pooey stuff comin owt of mowf??!!
Lots of gurglee sownds in tummee too wot wos a BadFing. Grrrr

Mum sed wos cos I sluurped stinky stuff from pond (see Turds-day), but stinky stuff GUDD!
Too cleen=BadFeeng!

Bettur now tho. Mum gave me scrumpled eggs n yogit wot is my favorit.

Ate sum leefs tuday too wot I sikked up like propur doggie in car. Dad sed everyfing bakk to normul now! WUFF......

Waitin for Yahto

Yahto cums home at 7.30. Am PREPURRED!

Wun: Listun for Arnty Jess's car (wot is very eesy cos is brite yellow!) (EERS UP)

Too: Cownt 2 minwits for key in dor ALURT. (wun, too, thwee .... TIME'S UP!)

Thwee: Key in dor. Bottum waggles..... (ATTEN.... SHUN!!!)

For: Lots of wining, waggin of tail n runnin in curcles. (HURRY UUUUUP!)

Five: HE'S INSIDE!  Boing, Boing, Boing, Boing.........

Sikks: ATTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK!

SLUUUUURP, BOING, BOWNCEE, WUFF, RIGHT HOOK, LEFT HOOK, HED BUTT, BOING, BOING!!

Luuuuuuurrve him.....................

Lernin to Swimm (Part Wun)

Fownd owt tuday, am Bestest swimmur in HOLE WURLD!!

Wun: Find espeshlee stinky, muddy pond. (Maybee wiv DeddFing in it.)
Too: Tern eers to 'deff'. (Himportunt wen Mum is showtin)
Thwee: Eers in 'go fast' posishun n RUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN.
For: JUMP!
Five: SPLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASH! Bowncee, bowncee..... stomp, stomp.... SLUURP!

Remembur, slurpin stinky watur makes yoo sikk. Wait til harf way home n sikk up in car.
Mmmmmm, luvlee!

Doggs get Vote!

Tuday's Poos!

Wos watchin the Poos tuday on Channel Paw. Sed that hoomans wot liv in kennels can vote. Must meen doggs wot liv in howses can vote too!

Cud becum an MPee!!
Wud hav doggs in shops, n DeddFings in the howse, n mor stikks, n NO BARFS! n BestestFing.... BAN EVIL LEEDURS!

MUD 4 ALL!

Like Barrak O'Barmy... 'Yes We Cana'