ArseSmell

Dad is wotchins the pawball!

Am hidings undur the table, cos Dad is UPs. thens DOWNs, then UPs, then DOWNs, then UPs again. Wot is goin on?????

Fink ArseSmell is playin BoringsHam. Cum on ArseSmell!
WUFF!

Problum

Hi Cana (Wurld's Furst Agonee Innit) its Shanti Fancy Pants, need yr help quick as i'm well confused..... Woke up this morning and the little human people were saying your won, then they gave me prizes. Then they took me to see you guys to play in the mud and have cake...that was yummy and right good fun, I even ignored mum a few time...s to show her i'm bossy now!!
But then something strange happened when we got home. Mum let me go up to this other home on top of this one, where only Kodah's normally allowed to go but when I got to the top she picked me up and dumped me in this huge deep warm puddle and poured slimy stuff on me......whats this all about doesn't mum love me now i've won????

‎'Z' is 4 Zooo!

‎'Z' is 4 Zooo!

Zooo is wher wolfies n ovver aminals do hexperimunts on hoomans. Wolfies wait til lowds of hoomans cum 2 zooo, thens they hide n hav napps. Is WELL funny! He He.

Then Wolfies see how longs it takes baby hoomans to starts howlin n big hoomans to start showtin!

Bestest fing is wen all hoomans hav gonned home n then all aminals have BIG PARTEE!

WUFF WUFF!

Problum

Dear Cana, this is your friend Bonkers Bella, Mum has bought me a new collar which means that i cant take her and dad for walkies anymore. This thing is called Dogmatic and it is making me be a good girl (grrr) and i dont like it. What can i do?? please help Cana.

 

Hi Cana
Tis Indy Bindy 'ear...I was wunderin wot to do bout my stinkin feets? My hoomans say they are weally stinkin. I washes 'em gud n everyfink, but they is still stinkin. can you elp me please? I is sending you woowoo's xxx

Problum

Hi Cana its your bouncy friend Spirit here, i'm very confused at moment cause my mummy keeps locking me into a crate and not Avalon and Echo there running round Frrrreeeeeee but i get more bones than them, what do you think this means ?????? Dont know if i'm more special or less special very very confused please help woof woof xxxx

'Y' is 4 Yappin!

Annover 'Y' is 4 Yappin!

Yappin is SmallDogg lanwige 4 Wuffin.

Small Doggs hav teeny-weeny wuff boxes wot meens they cans only yapp. They r gudd at lukkin aftur old ladee hoomans cos they r close to grownd n can see wen old ladee has losted sumfing, like losted their marbles!

WUFF!

WURLD'S FURST AGONEE INNIT!!!!

HIMPORTUNT ANNOWNCEMUNT!

Cos am such gudd PAT Dogg, (Personnul ArseInsistunce) hav decided 2 becum....

WURLD'S FURST AGONEE INNIT!!!!

Cos bestest skill is DEMOLISHUN, am speshlee gudd at DESTROYIN problums!

Anywun can email mee at cana@live.co.uk n will pikk poor, sadd hoomans wot need mostest help.

WUFF!

‎'Y' is 4 YOBBO!

‎'Y' is 4 YOBBO!

Yobbo is speshal name 4 mee wen am extra gudd dogg. Sumtimes Dad seys 'BLOODY YOBBO' wot is evun bestestest!

Yobbo fings r - bowncin on visiturs, bowncin on ovvur doggs (speshlee small wuns), bowncin thru doors wot Dad has closeded (why??), eetin fences (yum) n stompin on washin wot is nice n cleen.

Dad seys if ther wos speshal prize 4 bein TOP YOBBO, wud win by MILES!

Am WELL PROWD. WUFF!

‎'Y' is 4 YOBBO!

‎'Y' is 4 YOBBO!

Yobbo is speshal name 4 mee wen am extra gudd dogg. Sumtimes Dad seys 'BLOODY YOBBO' wot is evun bestestest!

Yobbo fings r - bowncin on visiturs, bowncin on ovvur doggs (speshlee small wuns), bowncin thru doors wot Dad has closeded (why??), eetin fences (yum) n stompin on washin wot is nice n cleen.

Dad seys if ther wos speshal prize 4 bein TOP YOBBO, wud win by MILES!

Am WELL PROWD. WUFF!

Hippy Valuntines Day

Hippy Valuntines Day Everywun!

Valuntines Day is speshal BOWNCIN day 4 burds, beez, wabbits, kangapoos, nitwits n hoomans.

Fings wot help yoo bownce r chocklits (wot snot allowed 2 havs, Grr) flowurs, (yum), cardz, (yum yum) n chompin (champagne - Ed) slurrp, hic!

Bowncin is BESTEST FING. But remembur, safe bowncin only!

Always use a conundrum!

Valuntines Day!

Hippy Valuntines Day Everywun!

Valuntines Day is speshal BOWNCIN day 4 burds, beez, wabbits, kangapoos, nitwits n hoomans.

Fings wot help yoo bownce r chocklits (wot snot allowed 2 havs, Grr) flowurs, (yum), cardz, (yum yum) n chompin (champagne - Ed) slurrp, hic!

Bowncin is BESTEST FING. But remembur, safe bowncin only!

Always use a conundrum!

PAWBALL POKE-US!

PAWBALL POKE-US!

Dad is off 2 see ArseSmell play Wolfies (WUFF!). ArseSmell wer WELL BAD playin SnoozeCastle last week. Dad wos VERY hupset. Grr

Is WEELEY worreed cos Wolfies beated Manky United and Chelsneeze!

Manky United playin Manky Shitty tuday too.

WasteHam got Old-Limpy Stadium n biffed TottsInHam offs it! He He...

PAWBALL POKE-US!

PAWBALL POKE-US!

Dad is off 2 see ArseSmell play Wolfies (WUFF!). ArseSmell wer WELL BAD playin SnoozeCastle last week. Dad wos VERY hupset. Grr

Is WEELEY worreed cos Wolfies beated Manky United and Chelsneeze!

Manky United playin Manky Shitty tuday too.

WasteHam got Old-Limpy Stadium n biffed TottsInHam offs it! He He...

Sofa!

Wazzat?

Sofa?

Get off wot sofa?

THIS is sofa????

No, is snot sofa, is speshal dogg bedd. Lukk, is just rite size for mee!

Sofa is that fing ovur ther wot Raoul is sleepins on!

Bad Puss, no biskit for yoo!

Peek a Boo!

Wazzat?

Sofa?

Get off wot sofa?

THIS is sofa????

No, is snot sofa, is speshal dogg bedd. Lukk, is just rite size for mee!

Sofa is that fing ovur ther wot Raoul is sleepins on!

Bad Puss, no biskit for yoo!

HIPPO BURPDAY DAD!

HIPPO BURPDAY DAD!

Dad is HUNDRUDS of years old n is lastest Dinosnore wot evur liveded!

Must gett Burpday Git 4 Dad? (Gift, Ed) Finks...

DeddFing?
Poo?
Cat sikk? (Hmm no, will save 4 mee)
Walkees?
Evil leedur? (Grr)
HOOGE hole in gardun?

Wot 2 do?

WUFF! ALL OF THEMS!

Dad will be well pleesed wiv that!

Burpday Git 4 Dad!

HIPPO BURPDAY DAD!

Dad is HUNDRUDS of years old n is lastest Dinosnore wot evur liveded!

Must gett Burpday Git 4 Dad? (Gift, Ed) Finks...

DeddFing?
Poo?
Cat sikk? (Hmm no, will save 4 mee)
Walkees?
Evil leedur? (Grr)
HOOGE hole in gardun?

Wot 2 do?

WUFF! ALL OF THEMS!

Dad will be well pleesed wiv that!

Happy Chineese Noo Eers

Happy Chineese Noo Eers of the Wabbit!

Wabbits r fiurce creetures wot liv in holes.

Famowse Chinsneeze Philosifur-doggie 'Confoosed Us' sey, 'A wabbit in the paw is worf 2 in the bushes!'.

Wabbits r espeshlee gud at hoppin, munchin, diggin n shaggin.

Poorly wabbits get mixed-em-up-toeses n turn into DeddFings. Poor wabbits!

WUFF!

Chineese Noo Eeer!

Happy Chineese Noo Eers of the Wabbit!

Wabbits r fiurce creetures wot liv in holes.

Famowse Chinsneeze Philosifur-doggie 'Confoosed Us' sey, 'A wabbit in the paw is worf 2 in the bushes!'.

Wabbits r espeshlee gud at hoppin, munchin, diggin n shaggin.

Poorly wabbits get mixed-em-up-toeses n turn into DeddFings. Poor wabbits!

WUFF!

HOPERASHUN!

My frend Sprite (Spirit, Ed) has had a HOPERASHUN!

Hoperashuns r wot yoo get wen yoo hav a poorly leg n can only HOP!

Yoo hav to go to Hopsical for Hoperashuns wot meens yoo get better n do lots of bowncin again, n no more hoppin!

Sprite had his hoperashun in Six Mile Bottum (yes really! Ed) wot must be wher my sister Kylie-the-Slapper livs!

(He he)

HOPERASHUN!

My frend Sprite (Spirit, Ed) has had a HOPERASHUN!

Hoperashuns r wot yoo get wen yoo hav a poorly leg n can only HOP!

Yoo hav to go to Hopsical for Hoperashuns wot meens yoo get better n do lots of bowncin again, n no more hoppin!

Sprite had his hoperashun in Six Mile Bottum (yes really! Ed) wot must be wher my sister Kylie-the-Slapper livs!

(He he)