Haz bin terribubble trubble goin on in OUR HOWSE. Dad iz very sad abowt mostest HIMPAWTUNT fing for hoomans n doggs: FUTBALL.
Dad'z bestest teem, Arsesmell hav snot bin doin very well n even losted against ARCH RIVULS, TOTTS-IN-HAM!!! (Grrr)
Thiz haz maded Dad very DIPPYRESSED. (He did cheer upp a bit wen Mudchester Unitwited [Grrr] losted against Mudrid tho)
Doggys hof course iz much bettur than hoomans at FUTBALL n SHOKKINGLY, sum hoomans still dont hunderstand HIMPAWTUNT fings like the OFF-SLIDE RULE.
In ordur to cleer up any KERFUFFLE, I Cana (wurld's furst celebrititty NitWit n FUTBALL HEXPURT) will explain (wiv incey-wincey bit of help from Wippetedia) the
OFF-SLIDE RULE FOR DOGGS!
Is very simple.
Yoo need 2 teems of doggs. NitWits on one side (Me, Kylie, Bonkers etc) n Labradoggs on the ovver. Yoo also needz a big stikk (or ball).
A NitWit is in an OFF-SLIDE poosition if she is closur to the Labradogg's goal (ie. bestest bit of Labradogg's gardun, like nice big hole) than both the stikk n the second to lasted Labradogg defendur, BUT ONLY if the NitWit is in the Labradogg's own gardun. (The Nitwit CANNOT be OFF-SLIDE in ther owns gardun)An HOFFENCE (bad gurl Cana - NO BISKIT!) iz wen the NitWit HACTIVELY tryz to gett the stikk off the Labradogg by givin it a GUD DUFFIN (but only wen the NitWit is in the OFF-SLIDE poosition. Ovverwise, is ok to duff up Labradoggs). Any goals scorred (ie. burrying the stikk in Labradogg's hole) is SNOT ALLOWED wen the NitWit wos OFF-SLIDE.
Thiz rule hof course iz subjuct to HINTURPRETATION by the WOOFEREE (ie. Mum).
Ther, Hope that cleers that upp then. Eezy Peezy!
WUFF
