Cana had an ickle lamb.

 

Cana had an ickle lamb wots fleez wot white as snow
N everywhere wot Cana went the fleez wos sure to go
Theyz maded hur fur itch weelly bad wot scratchin didn’t help
Then Dad put on sum 'Advocate' wot made the fleez all yelp

And so the ickle fluffy lamb wot Cana did so luff
Got luffed n sqweezed n chewed n stomped til well n truly duffed
Why is lamb all mingin’ now? Cana’s mum did showt
Cos Cana gobbed all ovur it n wiped it wiv hur snowt!

Problum

OOiii Cana, Bonkers here, youz got to help.

This rat fing has moved into my howse!! Now I is living with a pig and a rat, hhuurrmph. whenz u comin rownd to hextermiat it for me?? I's cant eat it cos its mee-ha pups fing and she will cry.

For god sake what is goin on rownd here, its joke!!

Discuvver Doggz

Mum wented to Discuvver Doggz on Shaturday.

(Hurrumph...Don't sno why? I is here ALREDDY!!)

All's swell wot endz swell tho. Mum discuvverered lotz of luvly fings like.....

Noo bedd 4 mee!
Noo toy 4 mee too!
Lotz of free tweets 4 mee!
Lots of free fud 4 mee too! (Wot I is now REFUUSIN to eet... he he he)
N bestest of all......
CARDBORD BOXES! Wot r bestestest fings in HOLE WURLD 4 rippin upp n grrrrrring at n stompin n buryin in sofa!

DISCUVVER DOGGS! (n boxes) WUFF.

Mum n Dad lefted mee all alone! Snot fair. Sniff...

Usually I waits til they're gonned n then go in Mum n Dad's beddroom!

Iz snice in beddroom. Lotz of luvlee fings to sniff n likk. Sumtimes hav an incey-wincey taste of fings too n see if tasty fings needz chewin. Nom nom nom nom....

Thiz time, SHOKK HORROR.....

MUM HAD TIEDED UPP BEDDROOM DOOR 2 TRY N CONFOOZE MEE!!!!

Tuk AGES to opun it.... Trieded chewin rope - sno gudd.
Tried undooin nasty knott - sno gudd.
Trieded starin WEELY HARD at dor 2 HYPMUTISE it wiv speshal NitWit powers.... STILL sno gudd!
Wos VERY FRUSTRATIN!

Thens, brain wave..... BASH DOOR WEELY HARD N BOX IT WIV PAWSES!!

Maded luvly patturns on door!!

Mum n Dad wos WELL HIMPRESSED wen theys got home. WUFF!

HIMPAWTUNT ANNOWNCEMENT OF COMPETISHUN WINNUR!!!

Choosin winnur wos EXTWEEMLY HARD n havs bin finking lotz abowt it.... BUT..

2 free tikkets to Discuvver Boggs (Discover Dogs! Ed.) goes 2 Mala Bissoon's neece Isobel.

Issybel hadd 2 hampersters but they gott dedded. (Wot did Izzybull do wiv hampersters? Did she eetz thems or hidd themz in sofa?) Now Issybell wantz to gett RAT, wot is WELL GUDD idea, espeshlee dedd wun wot can bee burreed in gardun 4 tastee snakk latur.

Now Izzybul needz dogg to go wiv Rat n can gett everyfing wot she needz at Discuvver Boggs!

Well dun Mala n Hisaball n HOOGE fank yoo 2 everywun wot entereded! WUFF....

Bumfire Nite!

Had WELL HIMPAWTUNT job yesturday. Wos GUY FARTS day n 2 celebrate, tuk Mum n Dad 2 Fartwurks Display. Fartwurks celybrate bootyful farts by makin lowd bangs (like reel farts) n lots of sparkly, pretty lites (like reel farts too).

Wos WELL PROWD. Mum n Dad snot scareded AT ALL!

Mee, Cana, wos HEXTWEMELY calm n HASSERTIVE 2 makes them SUBSMISSIVE. They wos very gudd hoomans.... WELL DUNN gudd hoomans!

Sum hoomans brunged ther ickly hooman pups alongs too. Mee, Cana, hads to lick ALL OF THEMS. Wurk, wurk, wurk.....

Snot only that! Feeld we wos standin ins had SNO HOLES IN IT!!!! Nevur mind, feeld lukked much bettur aftur I dugged HOOGE HOLE.

Then Mum n Dad saweded the hole.

Then we wents home!

Wuff!

Deer Cana

hello Cana, Pasti here, there is somefing well bad going on, there are these really loud bangs outside which is making Bonkers be a pansy and hide in the toilet. mum gave her some drugs too but she is still being big girls blouse not like me asti pasti fearless wolf. wuff

Cana's Guide 2 Discuvver Doggs.

2. PooDoggs!

PooDoggs cum in 2 sizes, Ickle wuns (wot r WELL TINY) n Bigg wuns (wot is BIGG).

PooDoggs hav weelly tite curlywurly fur. Bit like OldLadeeHoomans wiv permz wot gon 4 walkees in rain.

PooDoggs is MISSUNDURSTUD doggies cos wot they is weely likin bestest is anyfing 2 do wiv poo. Like....

Rollin in poo
Stompin in poo n spreddin it ons the furniture
Havin a poo
Eetin poo (speshly cat poo, wot is BESTEST FING IN HOLE WURLD. Sluurp!)

Bad hoomans don't lett poor PooDoggs play wiv poo, but trys to keepz thems cleen (yuk!) n cut PooDoggs fur (GaspWuff) in stwange shapes.....??

HELP THE POODOGGS NORTY HOOMANS. LET THEMS PLAY WIV POO!!!

HIMPAWTUNT ANNOWNCEMUNT!!!

Only 2 mor days til Discuvver Doggs competitshun ENDS!

Send yor nomnomnominations for MOSTESTSADESTLONELYHOOMAN wot needs 2 tikkets to Discuvver Doggs to mee (on my FB wall) by END OF TOMORROW.

https://www.facebook.com/#!/pages/Cana/127651483940844

(Cana's mum here. Make sure you can be contacted by a FB non-friend. Include your email address on Cana's wall post, enable non-friends to send you a message on your FB page or have your email address listed on your FB info page, available for non friends to see.)