Am nevur speekin to Mum agin. Not EVUR!!!

Mum is takin mee on a HOWTING!

We r off to place called 'CLINIK' n meetin noo frend called 'VETINHAIRY SURGON'!

Mum seys he will givs mee speshal tweets n pat mee lots n complimunt mee on how I is mostest bootiful Innit in HOLE WURLD n wot HOOGE teefs I hav.

Then I get sumfing called HINJECTSHUNS n a PAWDICURE (?) ....

Can't wait. Will be mostest BESTEST FING!!
:o)  WUFF!

Is time for walkees yet? Pleeeeeeese?

Help, Help. Mum n Dad is tryin to KILLS ME!!

They is ATTAKKING me wiv terribul instrumunt of TORCHURE...
the SNAIL CLIPPURS!

I keepz hidin, but they is waitin til I start snoozin n then..... POWNCE!

Tried to hid undur the bedd, but bedd has shrunked! (??) Put my hed undur it tho wot is almowst as gud, cos can't see mee then.

Evun tried trikking me wiv bitz of cheeze.
SNO FOOLIN MEE tho!  WUFF

HOT NOOS! BONKERS BELLA HAS BIN DE-BONKED!!

Bonkers went to hopitul yesturday. Mum sed she wos sprayed - sprayed wiv wot??

Sprayin is wen yor bowncy-bonkin bits is taken aways wot meens SNO MORE BONKIN FOR BELLA!
Wos more, Arnty Beff is tryin to turn hur into LAMPSHADE??!!

Woz is goin on?  Seriows conunderum here...? WUFF!

Noo DogBog (DOGBAG!! Ed)

Is 4 wen I is wallowin in mud n poo (wot is my favorit fing). Mum can take it home wiv us in bag!

MUCH BETTUR if wos spreded ALL OVUR noo car, but snot alloweded. Grrr

Noo car smells funny too. Not wun SINGLE ICKLE WICKLE bit of mud! (??)

Is WELL WORRYIN. Cleen fings is WELL BADD for yoo. Get diseezes n stuff wen fings is cleen.

Noo mishun: make noo car nice n mukky! WUFF

Noo Muttor!

Here I ams wiv my NOO MUTTOR! (Motor, Ed)

Mum n Dad buyded it for mee n I is lernin to go muttorin. (MOTOR... oh it doesn't matter! Ed)

I evens hav own cabin called 'Dog Bog' (Dog Bag! Ed). From Dog Bog I givs instructshuns 2 Mum n Dad so theys don't gett losted.

Is law 4 hoomans to be acompaneed by doggs in carz at ALL TIMES so is WELL HIMPAWTUNT JOB!

Zoooooooomy WUUUUuuuuuff!!

Story of Abberline (aka Lassie)!

 Wun day a loong times ago, Abberlassie went 4 walkees. She got losted wot was very BAD FING.

Hur sistur lukked n sniffed, but cudn'ts find hur NOWHERE.

Poolice lukked - NUFFIN.

Hur mum lukked - NUFFIN!

Everywun wos veree worreed. Wher had Abberlassie gonned? We wos all WELL SAD! :o(

Then wos MIRAKLE. Abberlassie wos fownded agin yesturday!

WUFF WUFF!

RUN WABBIT, RUN WABBIT, RUN RUN RUN!

"Run wabbit, run wabbit, run run run
Run from the Cana with hur furry bum
Yum yum yum yum, Snakk is ons the run
Run wabbit, run wabbit, run run run.

Run Cana, run Cana, qwikk qwikk qwikk
Run from the wabbit wiv his Weetabix
Bownce bownce bownce bownce, - I IS IN A FIX!
Run Cana, run Cana, qwikk qwikk qwikk!"

WANTED, DEDDED OR ALIVE!

Kylie-the-Slappur (aka Kyla, MY sistur!). FOR CORRUPTIN YUNG MINDS!!

Yes, is troo. Klyie tried to do bowncin wiv Zeeb. Not usual bowncin like wot we ALL likes, but BAD BOWNCIN (wiv pokey bits!).

SHOKK HORRUR, Zeeb is only poor ickle PUP (wiv snot much upstairs eiver Mum sed??)!!!

Kylie usually seen hangin arownd 'Slapperery Heights' wiv Arnty Lurraine n Unkle Nikk.

If yoos sees hur, call POOLICE himediately!

Bowncin time!

Went bowncin wiv Bonkers n Av-a-Larf tuday.

Bonkers fownded a DeddFing! Wos MY DeddFing furst tho, but I let Bonkers hav it (aftur Mum draggeded mee away n told mee off, Grr!).

Wanted to keeps DeddFing n call it 'Snakk' aftur my Wabbit (wot I is SNOT allowed to hav!). Bonkers calleded it 'MINE'!

Bonkers got WELL TOLDED OFFS by Arnty Beff. She wanted DeddFing all to hurself.

BAD ARNTY BEFFS!