DISCUVVER SCONNS. (Bit like Discuvver Doggs but wiv nice chewy bitts.) WUFF!

Here I is Discuvverin the Sconn. It wos tryin to gett aways but I wos trakking it wiv my SOOPER DOOPER sense of snowt!

See below 4 wot happuned next.....

DISCUVVER SCONNS. (Continood)

GOTCHA! Sconn wos gonned in SEKONDS. (Dad didn't susspect a fing! he he he....)

Cana's Guide 2 'Discuvver Doggs'

1. Labradoggs!

Labradoggs is WELL KNOWN as wun of mostest HINTELLIGUNT doggs.
(Like mee, cept hof course I is Norvvern NitWit!)

They is WELL BRAINY n wurk in laboraroraraatories doin HIMPAWTUNT HEXPERIMUNTZ like.....

How fast can labradoggs eetz ther brekkfast?
How many sokks can wun labradogg eetz wivowt bein sikk?
If yoo hav wun labradogg wiv a HOOGE BONE n 2 more labradoggs wiv HOOGE BONES, how long will it take themz to digg upp the gardun?

Is WELL HIMPAWTUNT resurch 4 Mucks Factor  wot helpz doggies ALL ROWND THE WURLD (cos we is wuff it!).

(Remumbur, keepz yor competitshun entrees cumin in!) WUFF!

www.facebook.com/#!/pages/Cana/127651483940844

DISCUVVER DOGGS!

Oops, maded bit of mistuk....

Snot Discuvver Boggs party AT ALLS (Grr) but DISCUVVER DOGGS!
(Why needs 2 discuvver doggs? HELLOO, I IS HERE?!!)

All very confoosin?....

Anywayz, Discuvver Doggs helpz PoorSadLonelyHoomans find doggies 2 lukk aftur thems. Aww.... poor ickle hoomans wot is ALL sad n lonely (Sniff...)

Nevur fear PoorSadLonelyHoomans. IS HEXCITIN CANA-COMPUTISHUN TIME!

Nice ladee hooman at KennelKlub giveded mee Cana (Wurldz furst celebrity NitWit) 2 FREE TIKKETS 2 giv 2 MOSTEST SADDEST LONLYEST HOOMAN wot I can findz.

If yoo fink yoo know mostest saddest lonlyest hooman then write 2 mee on my FaceBuk wall.

www.facebook.com/pages/Cana/127651483940844

Cum on SadHoomans. Wher ARE YOO? WUFF!

'DISCUVVUR BOGS'!!

HEXCITIN NOOS!!

12 n 13 Novumber, HOOGE party called 'DISCUVVUR BOGS'.
(DISCOVER DOGS! Ed)

Can't wait!!  Bogs is my favorite fing (exxcept DeddFings n mud). Yoo gets lotz of mud in bogs too n sumtimes poo as swell wot is WELL GUD!

Bogs cum in 2 kindz....

1. Owtside bogs. Fownded in feelds n ditches n stuff wen ons walkees. (Gud 4 stompin n bowncin in)

2. Inside bogs. Fownded in barf-roomz. Gudd 4 slurpin watur owt of in hott wevver. (Makes watur WELL TASTY!)

Cum 2 Discuvver Dogs 4 LOWDS of bog sniffin n mudd stompin!!!

Famowse NitWits (Inuits! Ed) from History

Marie AntoinNitWit!

Marie AntoinNitWit wos famowse French doggy wot lived AGES ago (befor even Dad wos borneded).

(I can speeks French too, "ho hee ho hee haw, Le Wuff!")

She wos speshlee fond of CAKE (wot is my favorite fing.... apart froms MUD) wot she gived to pheasants!!!

Pheasants??! Why???  (Peasants! Ed, sigh...)

French pheasants wer REVOLTIN (not like HINGLISH wuns, Yumm)

Ovver doggies wos WELL ANGRY all cake wos gonned, so theyz sent 4 Irish NitWit, Gill O'Tine to sortz hur owt!

Wuff!

Dr Cana's Casebuk

Wos calleded owt on HEMERGENCY MISSION 2 Tumpanini Family wot wos ALL SIKK!!!

Dr Cana (thaz is mee!) did HEXAMINE thems thorouly.
Unkle Murky Tumpanini had bottum sniffin, MiaPup Tumpanini had paw nibbling, BillPup Tumpanini had eers cheweded n bottum hinspection n Arnty Biff Tampanini had toeses slurped.

Hmmm, very HINTERESTIN......

They is ALL sufferin from SERIOWSE FINGS!

Unkle Murky - Kennel coff n worms!
Arnty Biff - Worms!
BillPup - Fleez n MORE worms!
MiaPup - Mondayitis (N WORMS!)

Only wun solushun - Arsepirin!

Anal Glands

Song 4 my Sistur Kylie-the-Slappur

(To the tune of 'Edelweiss' from 'The Sound of Music', Ed)

Anal Glands, Anal Glands
Every morning yoo greeeeet meeee
Small n wite, cleen n brite
Yoo lukk happy to meet meeee
Big n red wen they’re stuffed wiv poo
Stuffed wiv poo all togevver
Anal Glands, Anal Glands
Bless my bum hole forever

Anal Glands, Anal Glands
It’s a plessure to sniifff thems
Slide on the floor wen they’re red n sore
Musn’t lett the vet neer thems
Sqweeze thems hard n it weely hurts
Nasty vet had a tussle
Anal Glands, Anal Glands
Ended up in a muzzle

WUFF!

POORLY BOTTUM!

Sistur Kylie (Slappur) had POORLY BOTTUM!

Wos bigg n redd like HOOGE BABBOON.
(Didn't lukk any diffrunt 2 mee. Kylie = Babboon Bum!)

Missus Vet did BOTTUM HEXAMINATION. She had a gudd SNIFF n poked sumfing up Kylie's bum hole (hur nose?)

DOGISNOSIS: Kylie's ANAL GLANDZ wos stuffed upp wiv poo!
Missus Vet sqweezed Kylie's bum WEELY HARD. Arnty Lurraine sed wos WELL PAINFUL!

Poor Kylie (he he he)

Hocus Poocus!

Am gettin WEELY gudd at Mystic Mogg stuff!

Put hokus pookus spell on Mum's car last nite n maded it HINVISIBUL!!

Mee n LucyAnn wantud sleepovur. Cos am Mystic Mogg Cana, WitchyPoo HEXTRODINAIRE wos WELL EESY. Maded car DISSAPEER! Mum n Arnty Ronder woz lukkin for AGES. (he he)

Mum wos bit upset, but wurth it cos wee had 2 go bakk 2 Arnty Ronder's howse n mee n LucyAnn wos bowncin n singin ALL NITE. Singin wos BestestsFing. Arnty Ronder n Mum wos WELL HIMPRESSED n harldy slepted AT ALLS!

Then this mornin I tukks spell away n car woz HEGSACTLY wer we lefted it.

He he. Hocus Poocus WUFF!

HIMPAWTUNT ANOWNCEMUNT!

Poppy is GONNED!

Mum n Dad tuk Poppy 2 Missus Vet. Wen got bakk wos very STWANGE...

Lukked like Poppy, smelt like Poppy but woz snot Poppy? :o/ FingWotWozPoppy smelt sort of... DEDDED!

M n D woz cryin 4 AGES. D dugged BIG HOLE n put FingWotWozPoppy in it. (Then they putt HOOGE plant pott on top so can't digg FingWotWozPoppy upp. They woz lukkin at mee suspikously. Mee? Digg?)

Hoomans iz WELL STOOPID. Raoul n mee sawed RealPoppy flyin ovur rufftops in serch of HADVENTURES, but M n D jus kepted cryin.

Bum Voyage Poppy! Happy flyin. XXX