*CHRISTMUSH PREPURATSHUNS*

Here I ams helpin Mum wiv sum bakin for Crispmush. (Bakin is bit like barkin, but wivowt the noisy bits or doorbell ringin)

Mum wos makin CAKES!!! N we all know how DANGEROWSE they is don't we???? Poor Mum needud STRIKT NITWIT SUPERVISSION.
Sumtimez a bit of dangerowse cake wud fallz on the floor n wud be in dangur of POYSENING sum poor HUNSUSPECTIN hooman wot cud be lyin on the floor, havin an ickle nap n decide to havs a snakk!!
Gudd fing I wos there to tidy up HOFFENDING bitz of cake.

Crispmush is a time for spreddin sneezonal joy n dogwill to all, (Doggees is HESPESHLY gudd at thiz) n wos startud many many yeerz agoo wiv the commin of the Baby Cheeses. (Er...? Ed)

Remembur hoomans, Doggees is snot just for life yoo know, they is for CRIPSMUSH!

WUFF.

Iz Mee agin, Cana!

Here I ams givin sum technitickle support to doggees wot got into a bit of a kerfuffle printin owt my calendar:

"Helloo? Helloo? Yez, is NitWit Technitickle support line, Cana speekin, how can I helps yoo?
Wot's that? Yor paws is too big for compooter keys?
Gett yor hooman to do it for yoo. Only wiv STRIKT SUPERVISSION from NitWits tho. Make sure yoo havs the PAKK LEEDUR'S permissun befor yoo print it owt too.
Don't bovver wiv May eithur, it's only gott m...y sistur Kylie on it!"

"Yes, haz ALL OVVER MONTHS of 2031. Yes, they is in CORREKT ordur!
Yes, incloods songs, 'Mingin' in the Rain n 'Anal Glands' n MUCH MUCH MORE!
Of course, will make WELL HEXCITIN Crishpmush pressunt!
Yez, is big enuff to cover nasty stain on wall wot happuned HACCIDUNTILY wen yoo sikked up yummy DeddFing."

"OK, yoo're welcum, iz anyfing else wot I can help yoo wiv tuday? No? Havs a nice day then. Fank yoo."

"Hello, NitWit Technitickle support line, Cana speekin....."

For a FREE Cana calendar, just click on the link below:

https://docs.google.com/open?id=0B-kAA2gyo4KBcVZkeGFOaHhxX3M

*HEXCITIN NOOS*

(Cana's editor here.  Cana has been working very hard on her PERSONALISED CALENDAR.
Yes! You heard it here first!
Contains:
All the months of 2013 - in the correct order!
Great photos of Cana doing "Hexcitin fings"
Your favourite songs such as "Mingin' in the Rain" and "Anal Glands"
Words of wisdom on how to live life the Cana way, such as "Cana's guide to CPR" and "A Dog's Guide to Yoga".
Not only that, but Cana's calendar is FREE to download.
Just click on the link below and print out on your computer.
Ideal for late Christmas presents, espcially for "hoomans wot need speshal trainin".)
https://docs.google.com/open?id=0B-kAA2gyo4KBcVZkeGFOaHhxX3M

Cana the Red-Nosed NitWit
Had a very shiny nose
And if yoo evur saw her
Yoo wud evun say it glowed

All of the ovver NitWits
Used to larf n call her names (Yes reelly!!!)
They wudn't let poor Cana
Play in any NitWit gamez (Grrr)

Then wun starry Crispmush eve
Satna came to saaay
Cana wiv yor nose so brite
Won't yoo drive the sleigh toonite?
(Er, don't you mean 'guide'? Ed)

Well how the bunnys all scarpered
The pussycats jumped like they had fleez
Cana the red-nosed NitWit
Drove Satna's sleigh into a tree!
(Yee Ha!)

Then how the doggees partied
As they bownced arownd wiv glee,
Cana the Red-Nosed NitWit,
You'll go down in historeeeey.

WUFF!

SERIOWSE WEATHUR WARNIN from the MUTT OFFICE!!!

*HIMPAWTUNT NOOS*
SERIOWSE WEATHUR WARNIN from the MUTT OFFICE!!!

Snow, snow, snow snow snow snow AND MORE SNOW will bee fallin ALL OVUR THE PLACE.
Mosted HAFFECTED areaz is:
My Howse
NextDoorButWun's Howse
Bonkers Bella's Howse (Murky Manor)
My sistur KylieTheSlappur's howse (Slapperery Heights)
The park
The path down to the park
The door stepp.

Is WELL HEXCITIN! Bestest fings abowt snow is:
Gudd for stompin in
Snow is gudd for rollin in (sumtimes even get HUNEXPECTED SURPRISE POO to rolls in, wot is SNEEKILY hidin undur snow - Thiz makez fings EVUN BETTUR)
Gudd for makin tunnelz in
Hoomans can make snow into LOTZ n LOTZ n LOTZ of BALLS wot they thro arownd EVERYWHER for us doggees to chase n STOMP ON
EVUN BETTUR - yoo can EET snow ballz wen yoo get thursty from all that BOWNCIN (nom nom nom....)
(Snow is gud for BOWNCIN in)
Gudd for makin SURPRISE n HUNEXPECTED pulls on the leed wot makes hoomans go VERY FAST to the park "Cum on hoomans, HURRY UPP"
Gudd for findin WABBIT POO, wot is weelly weely eesy to find on snow
Gudd for spottin WEES by ovvur doggs wot turn snow a luvly YELLOW colour

Snow is gudd for lotz of fings!

(THIS WEATHUR WARNIN WOS BROUGHT TO YOO BY CANA - PAKK LEEDER N CHIEF MUTTERIOLOGIST AT THE MUTT OFFICE)

WUFF!