Problum

Dear Cana

Uncle Murky was fixing the toilet yesterday.
While he was out buying rubber thing to fix it I helped him and chewed the pipe that was next to the toilet!!!!

Uncle murky wasn't happy wen he got home & had to go buy new pipe!

Now I have to save my pocket money to pay for new pipe, daddy says he is gona sell my bones & biskits to pay for new pipe cos I was a norty innit :-((( I will waste away if I don't eat my bones & biskits :-((((

Everyone happy cos toilet working, they could have used garden lik me.....don't know wot fuss was about!

Luff Bella xx wuff

Royal Wee-ing Day

Pwince WillyYum n Kate MuddleTum's Wee-ing day TUDAY!

Hoppy Wee-ing day WillyYum n Kate!

Is WELL HIMPAWTUNT. Corgiz wot liv in MuckyHam Palace is in charge.

ATTENSHUN!

Corgiz is WELL STWANGE tho. They is ickle teeny weeny fings wiv stumpy leggs n very BOSSY (like sistur Kylie-the-Slappur) n can't bark propur but go 'YIP YIP'!

They smell like doggs, but lukk like, mmm........
LUNCH!

Hippo Bifday!

Hippo Bifday Uncle Murky! Hippy Bonkday Arnty Ronduh!!

Am saving up lots of BOWNCIN for BOWNCEE weekend cumin up. Am gettin lots of snoozin in so I is evun BOWNCEEUREE than usuals!

Lukk owt, BOWNCIN TIME!!

WUUUUUFF!!

'All Abowt Moggs'

Me n Bonkers helped owt at 'All Abowt Moggs' yesturday! (All About Dogs, Ed)

Cos I wurked soo hard, wot wiv all the hooman puppees strokin me n stuff, Mummy HammyLicker gav me a HICE CREEM, mmmm nom nom nom nom.....

Bonkers went in the swimmin poo n gav everywun lessuns in 'How to Swimms the Bonkers Way'.

Didn't go in tho, wos too cleen! Cud see the bottum n everyfing! YUK!

Hoppy Eatsa Everywun!

Tuday I ams lukkin 4 the Eats-a-Bunny, the Hot Cross Bunny n the Baby Cheeses wot rose agin. Hoomans call it RESERECTION!

Eatsa is WELL HOPPY time, cept 4 bunnys wot wos eatsa'd. Saw lots of bunnys tuday, they wos hot aftur all that chasin (phew!) n a bit cross too I finks (??).
Nevur mind, Baby Cheeses cumin later!

Eatsa-Snack-a-Day!

Tuday is Eatsa-Snack-a-Day!

Eatsa-Snack-a-Day wos wen Baby Cheeses had all gonned n everywun finished the last suppur.

Lukkin forward to tomorrow cos is EatsaBunny Day. Is LOWDS of bunnees now, all gettin reddy for Eatsa. They is hoppin rownd MY feelds like they OWNDED THE PLACE! Grrr.

Just yoo wait bunnees, is EATSA tomorrow!

GUDD FRIES-DAY!

Tuday s GUDD FRIES-DAY!

Gudd FriesDAy is bestest day for CHIPS wot is my favorite fud, (butt not halloweded to hav, Grrrr)

Yeers ago, before Dad wos bornded, Baby Cheeses had the LAST SUPPUR. This is wen they had chips for tea. For EVURMORE that day wos called Gudd FriesDay!

Yesturday wos MudDay TurdsDay. Guess wot I did????

WUFF!

Problum

Dear Cana

Very serious fing!!
Just saw mum hooman on square box in the front room.....she was on the 'Sex Heducation Show!
Wot is Sex Heducation???

I is very confoosed, how did mum get in box???

Love Bonkers x

EATS-A-BUNNY!

Lukkin forwurd to Eatsa weekend!

Eatsa is wen yoos hav lots of nice fings to eet, especialee the EATS-A-BUNNY!

Wud luv to eats-a-bunny, but Dad won't let mee. Grrr!

They is teezing me wiv their white bobb tails n big eers. Dad is VEGYWARIANN n says all aminuls must liv in peas n harmony. Peas n harmony????

Must heducate Dad on the meening of Eatsa qwikkly, or no Eatsa Bunny for me!

HOPPY BURPDAAY Arnty Beff!

(Oi Bonkers!..... av yoo got Beff burpday pressees? His WELL himportunt 2 share EVERYFING wiv Beff tuday.

Wen yoo eets yor dinnur, sikk it ups aftur so she can havs sum too! Then do HOOGE POO in seecrut place - she can hav fun lukkin 4 it! Then hur burpday goes on 4 DAYS! She cans enjoy smell too in nice warm... wevver!

Make sure yoo doo this Bonkers, am relyin on yoo!)

Problum

Dear Cana

I was walking in the park today and was trying to play wiv a little dog!!
He was not big dog like me, he was ickle and not very playful.
The hooman he was walking was on the phone telling his friend that 'bobsky' (stopid name for dog!!!) was getting harassed by a husky!!!!!
...Hmmmm, harassed!!!! Do I harass?? What is harass??
And he called me a HUSKY!!!! I not husky, I am very himportant NI, not bloody husky tut! Stopid man, I not look like husky, I is beautiful NI.
I wasn't going to eat his dog, I just had scrambled eggs for brekfast, and he didn't even look yummy!!!

When u coming to stay wiv me again Cana, I need help wiv all the stopid people in chingford!!

Your friend
Bonkers xxxx

Problum

To my BFF Cana

I need your helps and Innit Wisedom !
Mum and Dad keep telin me to 'chew' when i eats somfink!!
Wot is 'chew'......well confoosed????

your frend
Bonkers {wuff} xx

Barkers!

Happaruntly French hav banned Barkers!!! (Er, Burkhas! Ed)

Wot will French doggees do wivs no barkin? Am well worreed for french frends. Is always howlin, whinin n growlin left but no barkin is BAD FING!

Hof course, French doggs don't bark like wot Hinglish doggs do. Go sort of ..... "Hogh Hee Hogh Hee Haw.... Le Wuff!" (Can speek well gudd Frinch)

BAD Pressiedunt Snarlcozy!!

Lukkin bootiful!

Lukkin bootiful is himpawtunt for Celebritee Doggs (like mee).

Here I am wiv my face pakk. Is gudd for makin yor skin luvlee n soft. I uses it on my pawses furst, then my snowt, then ALL OVUR!!

"Paws wot do dishes can bee as soft as yor face,

Wiv mild green furry squit-liquid"

WUFF!!

Problum

Rebecca Rae-Johnson's Sci-fi-rus has a new bowl in honour of the Innit Biffdays today! Its brand name is Bella from PAH! He says he's not bothered that it might make him go bonkers like its namesake cos he already is and practises every day! :P xx (We did this spesherleeee four yooo Karn-uh!)

MASS BIFFDAY!

Is MASS BIFFDAY tuday!

Bonkers-Bella, Sprite, LowGunn n Morff is all wun tuday. Hippy wunth biffday!!

Hippo Biffday to YOO
Hippo Biffday to YOOO
Hippo Biffday deer Nitwiiiiiiits........
Hippo Biffiday to YOOOOOOO

Ta Daaaaa!

Luv from Cana XXXX

WELL BADD PUSSEECAT!

Wos mindin own businuss n supurvisin Mum's brekkfast in bedd..... wen turned my bakk for incy wincy sekond n Raoul (WELL BADD PUSSEECAT!) snukked upp n STOLE THE TOST!!!

Snot fair cos I am tost lukkerafturer. (Sumtimes is poyenowse and well dangerowse n Mum mite need savin from CERTUN DEAFF by dangerowse tost.)

Tost not poysenowse for doggs so can help by gobblin it upp!

Tost not ment for BADD PUSSEECATS!!!

Hurruph!

Muddyers Day!

Happy Muddyers Day Everywun!

Muddyers Day is speshal day to gett EXTRA muddy. (Could get muddy EVERY day, but Mum finks is snot a gudd fing??!!)

Got Mum REELY muddy tuday. Wos WELL PLEESED!

Fownded NOO DITCH 4 Mum!! Is speshal extra stinky wun wiv poo n dedd fings n EVERYFING.

Mum bit nervus at furst but aftur I dragged hers in wos well excited wiv flappin her paws in showtin n stuff.

WUFF!

Problum

Dear Cana

Mum and dads keep givin me second class biskits !!! They is YUK!!!
Why can't i havs my favrit alls the time???? think i need to feed yuky biskits to kats, they is stoopid and eat anyfink.
I need u to com help me, QUICK!!!!!
Dad has BIIIG fing in garden that goes wound and wound, he is puttin the stuf from init in big holes and then it goes hard!!!!! And u cant dig init!!!!
Our holes are gettin filled up, QUICK, u must com stop him Cana

your speshial friend Bonkers xxxxx

01 April at 13:54 · ·